Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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