Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
