Duck Duck Cougar?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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