Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
If I had your ass I would rule the world
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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