Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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