Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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