marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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