happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
