a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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