I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Still dying that you shit outside
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
