literally had 100 drinks last night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
