and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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