I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
