I'm sorry my penis didn't work
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
