My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize