I must be too annoying 4 u.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
