and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I got inside last night via doggy door
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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