I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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