I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
