He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
