he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
