So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
