i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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