When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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