Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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