Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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