i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
