Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
