She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
