Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
