did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
