I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize