I need help removing her.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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