he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
