Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize