I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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