so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
