I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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