...so i touched it.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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