i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
