My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she smelled like a LAN party
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
