Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She's the barista slut.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize