His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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