They should really pass out barf bags in church
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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