therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
