worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
