she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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