it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
