My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
