don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
