He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
