her vagine was all disorganized.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
