I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
