I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
