ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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