so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
