We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
