is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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