There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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