i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
