our cab driver is having phone sex.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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