I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
