So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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