Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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