You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
